Learning to Walk

June 3, 2013

On the way to work this morning, while attempting to navigate the complexities that arise on the OTHER side of US-1, my phone rang. When I reached for it, I hesitated for a second, as everything somehow went blank. This is often the case when a flood of memories overwhelms your senses. It has a way of shutting down your consciousness. In that moment you understand that you are living, but for thirty seconds, living is not an emotion – it’s a state. Deep breath, and here it goes, “Hello…”

IMG_1508

Today I reconnected with another young lawyer. This person was pivotal in my journey from layman to counselor. Without vacillation I will admit I would not be where I am today were it not for her guidance and support. Oftentimes, it steered me most in the quiet and blind moments when I found myself confronted with a problem, alone. What would she do? Or if she were watching me right now, how would I act? And in my most primitive of seconds, when the answer seemed too remote in space and time, she was always a text message or email away. One year ahead of me, I was privy to experience, front row, the life of a first year attorney when I was but a virgin.

Its only now I am beginning to understand moments that once upon a time were as foreign as remote African villages. While my heart may have stopped when I heard her voice today, it was not long before I found myself grounded and back on earth. On the way to the gym, I had one of those primitive moments, and as always, the answer was a text message away. I admitted my fear, and in return, received an acknowledgment that this fear was real. Like always, her answer, just like her very existence, gave me hope. “It gets better,” echoes in my mind as these words flow from my fingers.

Oftentimes the life of the young lawyer can be a lonely existence. I never foresaw this happening. As I so boldly stated in my first entry, we are bred to believe the life of the young lawyer is glamorous, sociable, and filled with promiscuous revelry. Instead, I find at times there is a loneliness that follows the journey of the young lawyer.

photo-2

Learning to live this life is akin to learning to walk again. It’s the stunning realization that every day when I wake up, put on my suit, check my tie, and walk through the doors of Aronfeld Trial Lawyers, I am encountering a world where other people’s fate rest delicately in the palms of my hands. At times, this hits me like a ton of bricks because if I fail, I not only fail myself, but I fail my clients. My failure is in and of itself, someone else’s failure through no fault of their own. It’s at times like these that I am not just learning to walk again, but reminding myself that before one can walk, one must crawl. Before one can crawl, one must even remember to breathe.

Today I was reminded of this, our evolution. Today I reminded myself to breathe.

-DGL 2013

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Learning to Walk

  1. I remember the first time I taught a college course. I was a graduate student assigned to teach in an auditorium (about 100 students). I was on my way, got to the elevator and wondered what would happen if I changed my mind. Changing my mind would have had grave consequences such as losing my assistantship and letting down my mentors. Neither of these were very good situations. So I thought well – here I am and here I go – I took a deep breath – and walked out of the quiet elevator into a classroom with about 100 undergraduate students. I have never looked back with regret, and my life was enriched by the lives of my students. Almost all of us has fears about those moments in our careers – it is perhaps the fear that motivates us to succeed.

  2. Pingback: My Client | Portrait of the Lawyer as a Young Man

  3. Pingback: Back to School | Portrait of the Lawyer as a Young Man

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s